Saturday, February 22, 2003

Another day

Still feeling much the same, but am particularly grateful for all the kind comments I received yesterday. (I choose to ignore the ones that weren't.) And special thanks go to fellow grad students for showing me that solidarity is not bound to discipline. Paul, Chad and Nathan - You rock!

This blogging thing is weird. And that's my official anthropological statement. Seriously, I'm beginning to think that blogging is only minimally a social activity. I check my logs and know how many visitors the site gets, including regulars, and I figure that I have been contacted by maybe 5% of these people (and 75% of them are grad students). But I am grateful for the friends I have made and I recognise how this would not have been possible in other times.

Still, I don't want to submit a blog for my PhD. The more I think about it, the more insanely bored I get. (But I think I've made a pretty strong case for submitting a blog-as-dissertation and I have posted all my notes for other interested grad students and profs.) To be fair, it doesn't adequately address my project needs; there are stronger formats it can take. But that doesn't account for my dissatisfaction.

Trevor touches on some of my feelings when he writes about why he doesn't blog more: "It could have something to do with my being horrible at anything that needs attention repetitively, or at least my being bored by things that need daily attention. It could be a bunch of uninteresting self-depreciating neuroses but that's just false humility so I'll drop it. The diaryesqeness of blogging is obviously not going to work for me. These need to be filings Trevor. Chip off little bits that you want to remember and put them here. Blog because its about being yourself."

Being myself? I am only and always myself. But that self is more fulfilled in particular contexts. And maybe this virtual world is not for me. I need people too much.

I'll finish with the best link I was sent yesterday: Why Nerds are Unpopular by Paul Graham. It rambles, but I won't hold that against him because he's definitely on to something! Thanks Frances!

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